Tag Archives: Psychology

A Rainy but Amazedly Good Day (:

Hi!!
It is a new week, how great is that? haha Well my week started off by a crazy depressing stressful Monday. Which I did things that I shouldn’t have… Which I mean by that is WHY CAN’T I FOR GET I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER, WHY CAN’T IT JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE?? WHY DID I LET YOU COME INTO MY LIFE? HELL I THOUGHT YOU WERE AMAZING AND YOU WERE THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD HELP THE PAIN AND SO ON!!!  but I was wrong. . . ok what I am getting at is well I purged last night…. stupid stupid stupid me.  You how much I just Hate my ED/Ana… but well after I did I felt awesome though really I felt sad, depressed. So I cried and cried. Because I knew I should have not done it. Just I wish I could have had the normal family… But I am scared if that person that I shouldn’t have to be scared of. I don’t go to their House.  So I asked Curtis… Why does God let things happen the way they do? His answer… its a test but he also told me that He never gives more than you can take. ( what yall think about this?)

Anyways…. the good part is.. That today/ Tuesday is its a good day.. my hair looks great.  Feeling happy…. and that he loves me for me and that he doesn’t judge me bc of my ED. That last night was when you got home my heart little more stronger… I don’t really know how.. but it did. Slowly I am giving you my heart… Just I am scared to give it to you… But I do love you… I am yours…
Satellite Heart
Anya Marina ❤

So Pretty, So Smart
Such A Waste Of A Young Heart
Whatta Pitty Whatta Sham
What’s The Matter With You Man?

Don’t You See What’s Wrong Can’t You Get It Right?
Outa Mind, And Outa Sight
Call On All The Girls, Don’t Forget The Boys, Put a Lid On All That Noise.

Im, A Satellite Heart
Lost In The Dark.
Im Spun Out So Far, You Stop I Start, But I’ll Be True To You

I Hear Your Living Out Of State Runnin In A Whole New Scene. You Know I Haven’t Slept In Weeks, Your The Only Thing I See

Im, A Satellite Heart
Lost In The Dark.
Im Spun Out So Far, You Stop I Start, But I’ll Be True To You (x2)

No Matter What You Do, Yeah I’ll Be True To You.

I love this song…. its so true… (:

Today is good…

Oh I found this mag today…. its a must read… For us women…
TIME

Thats it for today…

Court ❤

Ps. I got the New Moon Soundtrack… its really good, I like it better than the Twilight one. Also I am still not sure who is going with to the Opening night… I update on that later. Anyways… I better go I have Art class soon.

Advertisements

3 Comments

Filed under AnA, Fall 2009

Losing Control.

Ever since I have moved into my apartment, I feel like I am losing control again over Ana… (I will soon post photos) Living on my own I feel not the the need to eat. Its amazing feeling when I don’t eat.. sometimes. Today I have ate. For dinner I had a half sandwich at Panera Bread. Tiffany and Curtis worry that I don’t eat and its so hard to  since there is no one at the house telling me I should eat or cooking or eating. Beside Chelsea.. I do good when I am with them, but when I am alone food is the farest thing from my mind. I have not talked to anyone about I how I feel… I tried talking to Curtis about it yesterday but didn’t know how to say it. He knows about my ex ED but some how or another she trying to peak back into my life. Like if I say I am going to fast this weekend and if i was alone.. I could so do it.. I know its not something I should do. Just I am starting to lose control and its super hard not to.. I have to be in control of my life but its not looking good.. I am scared that if I I don’t gain control back soon its not going to look pretty. Though I love the feeling of being thin and the feeling that I don’t need to food.. though really for be to be able to live I need to eat.

All I know is Ana is trying to come back I can feel her.. I need to talk to Ervin..

Well I am at Panera Bread waiting on Curtis… He is becoming my everything… he is growing on me… I am falling for him… ( am scared silly of that.) I want to tell him.. I am not in love with him it is too early for that. But I care for him, I love him just not in love.. if that makes sense. It will just take time.. that is if I want it to lead down that way. I will never say it though… I love you are 3 strong words and you have to be strong and so on to be able to say them.. Wow I am rambling on..

Oh honey you are never getting him back

lots of love

Court

2 Comments

Filed under AnA, Fall 2009

I feel the need….

I feel the need to fast and work my ass of this weekend.. Then job hunting monday… well tuesday.. braces off Monday. 🙂

But yea I feel like I need to fast and just have water and we anything that is well diet and water… So i am fasting Sat and Sunday and Monday.. I think it be good.. Why not.. AND I need to jog have been bad on not jogging..

I know I should not do this, but I am. its better than purging (;  SO who is with me. ???

Miss him ❤

Leave a comment

Filed under AnA

Summer is Coming to an End.

hey everyone,
I have not done a true real post in forever so I am going to do that now. This summer has really been good to a point anyways. There was drama and still is, that is something that will never go away. I have made some awesome new friends and still was able to keep most of my old ones. I have been through a crazy break-up and now hoping to be with an amazing person. Made some amazing cakes, had awesome birthday… kinda. Saw some awesome birthday parties. haha.. Went on two amazing beach trips. A lot of this you already know, but just some not in depth.

Goals I have completed.. remember the really long list I made of all the different goals I wanted to complete?? Well I did.. maybe… haha

  • Finished a book 🙂  Blink.. awesome book
  • Chelsea is now house broken…. and crate trained
  • I did added a new photo well a lot just not printed out.. got to get that done.
  • Ipod is now has new music it is completely FULL all  8 Gs haha
  • New hobby… umm does twitter count??
  • Jogging in the evenings 🙂 Chelsea comes sometimes.
  • oh and i don’t think i posted it, but I am fixed into school.. Classes started today.

Yes today was the first day of class. On Monday and Wednesdays I have Psych 212… On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have Art 101, Theatre 101, and Photography 1. Yes I am taking a photography class to improve my skills and plus I love it 🙂 Art 101 is about the history and theatre was just something I picked. I have to have like so many hours in electives so it works. I am so excited about school.  Well my schools plans are the following: Get my AAS  or next year trans to Lander I can do either or. But I am going to get my BA in Psych and English.  Teach both for a high school with my BA and also work on my masters while teaching. USC upstate or College of Charleston. Then I can teach for a Tech school with a masters and many other things, but I want my PHD . I want to work with people with eating disorders.  I am just glad its my 2nd year of college, the 1st is always the hardest, ya know?

Anyways… I am suppose to be talking about this summer.. Well I still talk to Alan, just friends.. Shawn came to visit me. He is teaching networking which i was taking at ECPI as yall know. He is going overseas this coming year 😦 I am going to miss him very much as I already do. He is a great friend.  Anyways There is this one person i am talking to, we really like each other. He is sweet, funny, loving, caring, and so much more. Also he is really tall, just well there is one little problem he lives about hour away and he has a crazy ex that is obsessed over him.  That another story to tell. But this guy is older than me. Just he wants more and I want it too just sometimes I don’t. I like the feeling of being free and enjoying the moment. Plus I feel like I get him and I just end up pushing him away. Like I do with all the good people in the past. I sometimes think I might scare him away or just anyone away. IDK I think way too much about everything that happens and whats going to happen. I am too nice, loving, caring, and i drink too much when i do drink.

This fall I am going to try and change a few things and make the old stronger. I just need to stay positive and try and live life to the fullest.. I am 21 years old.

🙂

girlsroundedMy girlies- Hunting Island

Court ❤

Ps follow me on twitter.com/kourtneyrevels

Leave a comment

Filed under 1

wanting to become an bird

i just want to be free i want to be an bird one day. Free so i can fly a way and live a life. Trying to find myself one day at a time. i am becoming a little bird, the bird of life. i am self recovering. 🙂

I am changing schools and my major. i am thinking Clemson. I am going to teach psych and help with eating disorders. This is something I really want to do. i feel like its the right thing just finding the right school and I think God can help me on that one. i have to get my masters to teach. when i am going to do its something that i want to do. 

  1. Clemson
  2. lander
  3. North Greenville

Are the schools i am thinking about. I have to June to get things ready though really I have till July but I am want to get things done before July. 

Hmm i am not engaged anymore. Thats another sorry. 

I am still eating 900 cals or less I cant reach that 1000 cal mark, its so hard. Though I am loosing weight I think, but I am not sure. Some of my jeans seam to be getting bigger.. But I dont know yet. 

Well i am going to go i might update more later. 

❤ Court

 

earth-dayHappy Earth Day! 

Leave a comment

Filed under random, anything, updates

what if heaven had an ATM?

WHAT WOULD COME OUT IF HEAVEN HAD AN ATM MACHINE?

I got this question in an email from a god friend of mine, and the question got me thinking. You can get really creative, and there are many answers to this and none of them are wrong. So here are my thoughts on the idea.  (Here is my list)

©       Prayer list; this could be a list of your family and friends that are still on earth and this list would contain of their prayers, and what are going on in their lives.  Also what they need help have and who in their lives need help. I think this is a way for the ones down on earth and the ones up in heaven can know and talk to each other.          

©       I was also thinking movies… movies of your memories. This is a way to remember you past good memories and you could go in and choose the ones you want to watch and then return them later. 

©           Tokens for things that you have up in heaven. This would be silly but I think that you don’t need money in heaven, but it could be for games, and such things. 

©       Pictures, these pictures could be from your memories or love ones and/or of childhood pets. These would be nice to have and to remember the good times we had while on earth.  But I think we would already remember these very well once we are there. Because we would be perfect in all ways.

Ok this is what I think… What do you think? To a point I think this is a silly question and something is not much to think about. But do we really know what heaven going to be like?? Here are some verses I found about heaven.

©       MAT 5:12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

©       Matthew

©       6:20 But store up for you treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, 
and where thieves do not break in and steal.
©       18:10 "See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. 
For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.
©       REV 2:7 He, who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the Churches. 
To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.

©       Here is a link that has many verses just about heaven and so on:
http://www.biblebb.com/files/tniv/HEAVEN.TXT

 

 

©       Also check out the love chapter in 1 Corinthians which is chapter 13.  

Written by: Courtney Revels

 

 

1 Comment

Filed under heaven and other

The New Term… :) Topics?

 

Chris and my new hair! <3

Chris and my new hair! ❤

Hello my readers! How is everyone doing? I am doing great, I just started my new classes this week. I am taking English 120 and Psychology 105. I am really excited about my Psych class, I am going to learn a lot from this class. I am going to have to write one paper in this class and I get to pick the topic. I just haven’t pick one yet. I am have thought of a lot, just can’t make up my mind. Here are the ones I came up with. 

 

  • Eating Disorders
  • Controlling parents and how their doing effect their children growth and emotion health.
  • What is the sex drive… and/or what is the emotion views of sex, and so on. 
  • DID its when you milt personalities. 
  • Dreams 

Ok so that is many ideas/ topics I can write about. The whole sex thing got me thinking because of personal reasons. (orgasm) haha and the eating disorder we all know about that. And the parent thing is big on me too. Just I can only pick one. But some of these can relate. But I don’t know. I have till Sunday to pick and submit my topic, if any of you have comments or any ideas please let me know. I need all the help I can get. 

Well my English class is good, its English. 

I got my hair colored. If I didn’t tell you i am sorry, its really cute, thanks to my sis and heather. I try to remember to post a new picture. Oh I just remember to tell yall about my new job, I am thinking really hard about taking the job, I start training tomorrow it three day training. ITs… .Sales job. I will be sales Rep. for Cutco Knives. I will be making $15 dollars per app. which run about hour long, so $15 hour. hmm I thinking about taking it but I don’t know yet.  

Well readers I am thinking of heading to bed. Its 10PM and I am getting sleepy. So I talk to yalls laters. Sorry this became real short.

Leave a comment

Filed under random, anything