A Rainy but Amazedly Good Day (:

Hi!!
It is a new week, how great is that? haha Well my week started off by a crazy depressing stressful Monday. Which I did things that I shouldn’t have… Which I mean by that is WHY CAN’T I FOR GET I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER, WHY CAN’T IT JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE?? WHY DID I LET YOU COME INTO MY LIFE? HELL I THOUGHT YOU WERE AMAZING AND YOU WERE THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD HELP THE PAIN AND SO ON!!!  but I was wrong. . . ok what I am getting at is well I purged last night…. stupid stupid stupid me.  You how much I just Hate my ED/Ana… but well after I did I felt awesome though really I felt sad, depressed. So I cried and cried. Because I knew I should have not done it. Just I wish I could have had the normal family… But I am scared if that person that I shouldn’t have to be scared of. I don’t go to their House.  So I asked Curtis… Why does God let things happen the way they do? His answer… its a test but he also told me that He never gives more than you can take. ( what yall think about this?)

Anyways…. the good part is.. That today/ Tuesday is its a good day.. my hair looks great.  Feeling happy…. and that he loves me for me and that he doesn’t judge me bc of my ED. That last night was when you got home my heart little more stronger… I don’t really know how.. but it did. Slowly I am giving you my heart… Just I am scared to give it to you… But I do love you… I am yours…
Satellite Heart
Anya Marina ❤

So Pretty, So Smart
Such A Waste Of A Young Heart
Whatta Pitty Whatta Sham
What’s The Matter With You Man?

Don’t You See What’s Wrong Can’t You Get It Right?
Outa Mind, And Outa Sight
Call On All The Girls, Don’t Forget The Boys, Put a Lid On All That Noise.

Im, A Satellite Heart
Lost In The Dark.
Im Spun Out So Far, You Stop I Start, But I’ll Be True To You

I Hear Your Living Out Of State Runnin In A Whole New Scene. You Know I Haven’t Slept In Weeks, Your The Only Thing I See

Im, A Satellite Heart
Lost In The Dark.
Im Spun Out So Far, You Stop I Start, But I’ll Be True To You (x2)

No Matter What You Do, Yeah I’ll Be True To You.

I love this song…. its so true… (:

Today is good…

Oh I found this mag today…. its a must read… For us women…
TIME

Thats it for today…

Court ❤

Ps. I got the New Moon Soundtrack… its really good, I like it better than the Twilight one. Also I am still not sure who is going with to the Opening night… I update on that later. Anyways… I better go I have Art class soon.

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3 Comments

Filed under AnA, Fall 2009

3 responses to “A Rainy but Amazedly Good Day (:

  1. lookingforsomethingtofind

    As someone who came from his own less than ideal house hold, my advice about home would be, it is where ever you are and are happy. It doesn’t have to be a place, it can be something we carry with ourselvs, when you are with friends and with people you care about you are home. So instead of looking at the fact you can’t go back “home” realize that you are already there.

  2. imaginenamaste

    I feel you on the “why can’t I forget ED” stuff. Its so hard. But, you know what–I think it is awesome that you realize and express how much you do hate it.

    Have a good weekend 🙂

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